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Funny Relationship Quotes

Friday 25 March, 2016.

Funny relationship quotes to give you a laugh at love, quotes about relationships to make you smile. Lighter inspirational sayings about relationships.

Our lives are made up of all kinds of relationships – good, bad, difficult, fun and rewarding…

We can’t get away from them. But do your relationships sometimes feel like just too much hard work?…

We hope our funny relationship quotes will help you lighten up and take the stress out of life and love. Sometimes just looking at things from another point of view can make all the difference.

Funny Relationship Quotes

“If you can’t handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
~ Marilyn Monroe ~

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
~ Dr. Seuss ~

“Love is a grave mental disease.”
~ Plato ~

“The reason a dog has so many friends is because he wags his tail instead of his tongue.”
~ Author Unknown ~

“Relationships give us a reason to live. Revenge.”
~ Ronny Shakes ~

“When I want to end a relationship I just say, ‘You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children.” Sometimes they leave skid marks.”
~ Rita Rudner ~

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”
~ Erich Segal ~

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”
~ Benjamin Franklin ~

“To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you’re impotent. She can’t wait to disprove it.”
~ Cary Grant ~

“You meet someone and you’re sure you were lovers in a past life. After two weeks with them, you realize why you haven’t kept in touch for the last two thousand years.”
~ Al Cleathen ~

“If it weren’t for women,
Men would still be
Wearing last week’s socks.”
~Cynthia Nelms ~

“When love is not madness, it is not love.”
~ Pedro Calderon de la Barca ~

“To wear your heart on your sleeve
Isn’t a very good plan;
You should wear it inside,
Where it functions best.”
~ Margaret Thatcher ~

“Guys are like dogs. They keep comin’ back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they’re gone.”
~ Lenny Bruce ~

“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?”
~ H. L. Mencken ~

“The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends.”
~ Bobby Kelton ~

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell”
~ Joan Crawford ~

“I just want a boyfriend who’s not crazy!

We all want that dear, but it doesn’t exist!”
~ From the movie AS GOOD AS IT GETS ~

“The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them be good at taking orders.”
~ Linda Festa ~

And My favourite funny relationship quote…

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.”
~ Albert Einstein ~

If you have enjoyed Funny Relationship Quotes, you might also enjoy:

Remember to keep a light-hearted attitude and you will enjoy living better everyday


In our online inspirational sayings shop, find the best life sayings decals, attitude sayings books, quotes on motivation posters and more fun things to brighten your day.

Click here to go shopping!

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